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The Pleasure of Reading About Sex When You Aren’t Having Any
Today in style, self, culture, and power.
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October 1, 2026 SELF The Pleasure of Reading About Sex When You Aren’t Having Any Spicy romance gives some readers the joy and safety they aren’t finding off the page. By Andrea González-Ramírez Photo: Tonje Thilesen Logan has been single for several years, but he isn’t really looking to date or hook up. “It’s not that I don’t feel attraction or arousal,” the early 30-something professor tells me. “I do feel these things, but I don’t like feeling sweaty and gross. And to be honest, I don’t really like being touched. It may be due in part to my gender dysphoria. So I’m like, I don’t really want to get another person involved.” Logan (not his real name) is a closeted trans man living in a ruby-red rural community in the Midwest, and as someone who has experienced sexual assault, he says it doesn’t feel safe for him even to be out — let alone try any pickup lines. But just because he’s not currently interested in having sex doesn’t mean he’s not into reading about it. In fact, the romantic stories he finds on fan-fiction sites like Archive of Our Own (AO3) help him find release, literally and emotionally. Logan says he regularly reads “some really nasty smut” on AO3. Recently, he has been into stories about Osiris and Saint-14, a pairing from the video game Destiny 2. One of his favorite things about fan fiction is how it allows both writers and readers to expand on the original source material and to explore themes the original story didn’t — or couldn’t. READ MORE Celebrity News Gossip, revelations, and timelines. Surprise! Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris are already married. Florence Pugh feels "honored" to talk about the "Cornell 7." Pete Davidson is keeping his Hillary Clinton tattoo. Apple Martin made her Paris Fashion Week debut. Today’s Top Stories Allison P. Davis answers a letter from a reader who’s engaged but worried she’s losing attraction to her fiancé. READ MORE Romance author Regina Black writes today’s “Spice Diary,” in which Naomi Moore falls for her divorce mediator. READ MORE Are your ballet flats ruining your feet? We chatted with podiatrists about how to make your shoes more comfortable. READ MORE For those looking to commission one of the 12 suits model-slash-tailor Dillon Maxwell Clarke makes a year, their best bet is to find him on the dance floor. READ MORE Subscribe now to get unlimited access to everything New York, including subscriber-only newsletters, exclusive perks, the New York app, and more. Subscribe Now ADVERTISER CONTENT The Mini Cut Shop For more shopping advice, sign up to get the Cut Shop newsletter every Friday. How Much Is Too Much for a White T-Shirt? I tested Rùadh’s $240 Honne long-sleeve to find out. The Fashion Basics and Fall Essentials a Shopping Editor Buys During Prime Day From a woven tote bag to a funnel-neck jacket. The Adult Back-to-School Shopping List Based on your zodiac sign. READ MORE FROM THE CUT ASTROLOGY Your Daily Horoscope by Madame Clairevoyant Be aware of potential distractions as the moon moves through Gemini today. Read more. ADVERTISER CONTENT Sign up for Personals A newsletter about sex and relationships. SIGN UP follow us on instagram • tiktok • twitter • facebook unsubscribe | privacy notice | preferences This email was sent to you@example.com. Was this email forwarded to you? Sign up now to get this newsletter in your inbox. View this email in your browser. Vox Media, LLC 1701 Rhode Island Ave NW, Washington, DC 20036 Copyright © 2026, All rights reserved