The Onion
Day 6 after signup
Dude Wipes Introduces New Flushable Khakis
MORE | Artist Profile: Madonna
Email copy
View this email in your browser Thursday, October 1, 2026 NEWS Dude Wipes Introduces New Flushable Khakis NEWS NBA Players Share The One Thing They’d Change About The League If They Were Commissioner For A Day ENTERTAINMENT Artist Profile: Madonna JOIN AMERICA’S FINEST MEMBERSHIP NEWS Researchers No Closer To Understanding What The Fuck You’re Talking About LOCAL Lunch Place Uses Way Too Much Mayo In Fruit Salad LOCAL Doctor Informs Woman She Pregnant As Hell SHOP AT THE ONION STORE LOCAL Music Compels Weak Man To Dance LOCAL Cashier Forced To Incorporate Humiliating New Phrase Into Every Customer Interaction LOCAL Dentist Can Tell Patient Hasn’t Been Brushing Hair WATCH TONIGHT: 8ET | 7CT | 6MT | 5PT Nothing's off limits—except limits—when Tim Heidecker, Jeremy Levick, and Rajat Suresh get to talking. Watch The Tim Heidecker Podcast tonight and sign up for the InfoWars newsletter now. SIGN UP FOR THE INFOWARS NEWSLETTER JOIN AMERICA’S FINEST MEMBERSHIP Copyright (C) 2026. All rights reserved. Global Tetrahedron LLC dba The Onion · 2045 W Grand Ave Ste B PMB 479693 · Chicago, Illinois 60612-1577 · USA You are receiving this email because you opted in via our website. Not interested in hearing from us? You can update your preferences or unsubscribe