The Onion
Day 19 after signup
Corn Named World’s Sexiest Plant
MORE | Report: More Americans Opting To Be Buried In Unknowing Neighbor’s Backyard
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View this email in your browser Wednesday, October 14, 2026 NEWS Corn Named World’s Sexiest Plant NEWS Report: More Americans Opting To Be Buried In Unknowing Neighbor’s Backyard ENTERTAINMENT Lewis Hamilton Figures It Probably Too Late To Ask Girlfriend Which One She Is JOIN AMERICA’S FINEST MEMBERSHIP LOCAL Man Still Trying To Find Right Work-Anxiety–Life-Anxiety Balance LOCAL Asshole From Plane Greeted At Baggage Claim By Whole Family NEWS Study: Majority Of Frontal Lobe Occupied By Thoughts Of Sausage Links SHOP AT THE ONION STORE LOCAL Employee Wishes He Had Enough Job Security To Voice Opinion LOCAL Dripping Food Strategically Held Over Other Food LOCAL Man Who Did Not Immediately Strangle Newborn Deemed Natural Father INFOWARS Nerve Center: An InfoWars Original Series (TEASER) The revolution will be optimized. Watch the first episode of Nerve Center on InfoWars tomorrow and sign-up for the InfoWars newsletter now. SIGN UP FOR THE INFOWARS NEWSLETTER JOIN AMERICA’S FINEST MEMBERSHIP Copyright (C) 2026. All rights reserved. Global Tetrahedron LLC dba The Onion · 2045 W Grand Ave Ste B PMB 479693 · Chicago, Illinois 60612-1577 · USA You are receiving this email because you opted in via our website. Not interested in hearing from us? You can update your preferences or unsubscribe