The Onion
Day 12 after signup
Play The Onion’s First Video Game Now
If You Love Voting, And You Love Simulators, Buckle Up
Why it works
- Tie the launch to a timely event, then make the new product immediately clear.
- Use a few vivid, humorous details to explain the experience before returning to a direct call to action.
How it is built
- Playful headline hook
- New game announcement
- Primary play button
- Satirical game details
- Eligibility reassurance
- Repeat play invitation
- Membership button
Email copy
View this email in your browser If You Love Voting, And You Love Simulators, Buckle Up The Most Important Game You’ll Play In 2026 Greetings, Gentle Reader. Just in time for the 2026 midterms, The Onion is proud to reveal its first video game: The Onion Voting Simulator 3D, available now to play for free. PLAY NOW The game, which has taken eight years of development across six continents with a budget of over $3.5 billion, is the world’s most advanced depiction of America’s democratic process. Feel the rush of waiting in line in an unfamiliar place, encounter kiss-able elderly volunteers, and discover hidden polling station surprises. Not an American citizen? Not a problem! Not 18 yet? No worries! Our Voting Simulator allows anyone from any country to vote as often as they want, which is legal in our better, simulated America. So celebrate the 2026 midterms the best, most enjoyable way possible: by voting before you vote. Play The Onion Voting Simulator 3D for free now. Interactively Yours, The Onion PLAY NOW JOIN AMERICA’S FINEST MEMBERSHIP Copyright (C) 2026. All rights reserved. Global Tetrahedron LLC dba The Onion · 2045 W Grand Ave Ste B PMB 479693 · Chicago, Illinois 60612-1577 · USA You are receiving this email because you opted in via our website. Not interested in hearing from us? You can update your preferences or unsubscribe