I started drinking as a teenager because of crippling social anxiety and codependency. In college, I discovered I could out-drink most people and still stay standing. In a society that places status on how fast you can chug a beer, I saw drinking as my superpower.
So for the next 20 years, I was "the party guy."
I could hold my liquor, stay functional, even thrive while drinking multiple times a week. Book tours, conferences, speaking gigs—it was all fueled by booze. I was a happy drunk. Funny. Outgoing. Completely uninhibited.
That's a terrifying place to be.
As I got deeper into my 30s, that "party guy" identity started to crack.
"Is alcohol really serving me?" was the comfortable question I'd ask myself. "Is my social life really just an alcohol-fueled mirage?" was the uncomfortable one.
So finally in 2022, I decided to take a two-month break.
Sobriety didn't feel glamorous. At first, it was boring—like someone turned the volume knob on life from 10 to a 5. Dinners tasted dull. Trips felt muted. Parties seemed like a waste of time.
Then, slowly, the benefits started creeping in.
I lost weight. I slept better. I had more energy. I became more focused and ambitious, less emotionally volatile. I discovered which people, hobbies, and habits actually mattered to me—without the dopamine haze.
In hindsight, I spent so much of my life with alcohol at the center of my identity that I didn't truly know who "Real Mark" was. Once I stripped away the crutch I'd been leaning on for decades, I started to meet the real me.
Quitting alcohol has brought me more peace, happiness, and presence than any shot of tequila ever did.
If you're considering taking a break from alcohol, or any other habit you use to cope, stop asking yourself: "What will I miss out on?"
Instead, try asking yourself: "What part of myself have I never met?"
See you soon,
Mark
P.S. That question — "What part of myself have I never met?" — is the question I built Purpose to help you answer. It's an AI mentor that learns who you are in minutes, points out your blind spots, and challenges your false beliefs. It also has structured programs called Quests designed to help you break the habits keeping you stuck. Because you're one of my readers, I've knocked 20% off an annual membership on top of a 7-day free trial. Start with the personality assessment and see what part of yourself you meet. Try it for free here.
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